


Thin Walls

by Acequisitor



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Agressive drunk non-English flirting, Allura owns a share house and everyone's there pretty much, Frottage, M/M, Pidge is an angry birb and I love them, Share House AU, and I suck at tagging, but I'll try to update them as we go along, its gonna get pretty gay, just gay, really nonexplicit tho, you know how it is
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-12
Updated: 2017-01-09
Packaged: 2018-08-08 06:11:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 15,751
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7746175
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Acequisitor/pseuds/Acequisitor
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>All Lance wanted was a cheap, quiet room to live in on his free time while he attended a local college with his friends.</p><p>Instead what he got was a room in a sharehouse with such thin walls he can here some edgy emo playing his music at full blast on his relaxation time. </p><p>But, if maybe this edgy emo happened to be cute, and that's maybe, well, then maybe it wouldn't be THAT bad. He still wanted him to turn down the music, though.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. These Damn Walls

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fic. My first piece of trash. It's unbeta'd so if you see a misspelled word, let me know.

It was a long day after work. At least, today that's what it was. Lance couldn't have waited to get home to the comfort of his own room. He was now laying on the plush bed he longed for as he breathed in the warm atmosphere in his room.

He took a deep breath a grin filled his face as he mumbled to himself, "Now _this_ is complete and utter blis-"

  
A huge blast of music filled his room, traveling from the wall. Pitches of guitars echoed through the room as Lance was cut off.

He was wrong. This wasn't bliss. Not the kind he desired for after a long day. He takes it all back. This was a normal occurrence, none of this was bliss. Not with these thin walls in the share house. He's had to suffer through these noises for the past two week, now. Only waiting for when he’d snap and finally go put in a complaint. But he was sure that’s just what the other person making the noise wanted him to do. He wasn't about to stoop that low. Or, at least he _wouldn't_ have been about to. This had been going on for too long.

Lance just moved into this commotion of a share house hell just 2 weeks ago. He was posed the idea by his friends Hunk and Pidge. He'd been having money problem, as you do when you start college away from home. He brought up his complaints constantly about how expensive dorm and food fees were until Pidge had just about enough of it. They’d brought up their share house had a free room up for grabs and it'd be cheaper for him to just hold himself up in there. Cheap and shared rent with the bliss of having a whole room to himself in a fully functioning house.

Except Pidge and Hunk forgot to mention something. So far Lance had convinced himself there was a reason it was cheap and up for grabs, and they didn't' tell him on purpose.

Thin walls. These damned thin walls.

  
Had he known about it, he would’ve checked beforehand whether or not his ‘neighbors’ actually weren't this profusely annoying. He'd barely been able to get sleep. He had sleeping issues. He’d often feel homesick or anxiety would fill him out of nowhere. Lance recently had  to sleep with headphones and music on, it helped cancel out his thoughts and noises that might distract him from slumber; but, it was hard to relax and sleep when there was always something going on in this other person's room next to him. Sure, right now it was just music but how long until it escalates to something _more_?

Lance finally found himself done with this shit. After a long day of school, work, or anything for that matter, he'd just want to relax and not deal with this bullshit. Today he'd go to complain about it to the owner's office of the share house. He’d gotten off early enough to know the owner was home and opened to visitors in their office. He made his way out of his room, past 2 doors and the kitchen, to down the stairs. He turned to a room labeled “Office” next to the owner and one of her friend’s door, and opened the door to see a woman sitting in a chair and desk. Her back was to him and all he could see was long, curly, light pastel hair.

The name tag on the door said her name was Allura. Considering her looks from behind she looked too young to be owning such an establishment. He heard from Hunk she inherited it from her father. He’d hadn't seen her before. When he made the transaction to live here, the business was done with her friend that lives next door to her. His name was Coran and he had this hilarious mustache he found _too_ much pride in.

A simple, "Yo," popped from his mouth as a knuckle knocked on the door.  
She turned in her chair to face him and he forgot what he came here for a second. She looked beautiful. Dark skin and beautiful multicolored eyes. "Hello, is there something I can help you with right now?" Oh god. Her voice and accent was amazing. How did someone like her end up running a place like this?

Lance shut the door behind him as he ventured slightly to the right of the door, a little bit past the hinges holding the door to the wall. He had blushed and moved forward to his purpose of being there, but it wouldn't come out, he just stuttered "Haha, right, so what I was here for.... Yeah." He was usually a smooth flirt, but he knew this beautiful specimen was most likely out of his league. Whether she owned this thin walled hell or not.

She sighed at his lost attitude and slightly glared, "Yes, what did you need?" she pushed for him to answer.

  
He chuckled and went in for a move, blush subsiding and wagging his eyebrows, "You-"

  
It was then he was interrupted by the opening of the office door, nearly hitting him in the process. He flinched and shielded himself from the doorknob nearing his hip and sighed in contempt as he looked beside him as the door closes to see who was interrupting them.

  
Then he saw a guy. A cute one, at that. Oh man, _oh no_. If he hadn't known he was bisexual, this would've been a dead pinpoint. If his face's flush died down as much as he’d thought after meeting Allura, it was sure there again.

  
A man with dark, black hair. Shorter than him, but not by much. Maybe by an inch or two. Eyes glowing with the glare of the sun poking from some blinds in the office made his eyes glow in a purple shade. Lance choked up for a second, turning back to Allura.

  
A smiled had filled her face followed by, "Ah, Keith. Perfect timing," she chuckled, almost sounding relieved. "Did you need anything today, too?"

  
He turned back to the man as he was intrigued by. This 'Keith'. His eyes trailed past his sharp jawline to his neck. Then noticed his hair. Long hair trailing on his neck. The colour caught him at first, especially in contrast with his pale skin, but he really looked at it this time. Was that a mullet? Laughter strained from his mouth as he attempted not to seem rude and keep a straight face. Who wore mullets anymore? Maybe the 80s should call him and ask for it back. Other than that _slight_ flaw (sure slight let's go with _that_ ), he was fine. Like, _really fine_.

"Too? Oh," Keith became aware of the slightly taller man standing by the door he just walked through.

  
They made eye contact, Keith having to look up a bit to him, slightly. Another, stuttered and simple greeting of, "Yo," escaped Lance. Any other words were lost to him.

“... Y-yo…?” Keith stuttered the greeting, more of a question than a greeting, but it was still a reply. Keith was eying him, breaking eye contact to look at him up and down.

There was a moment of silence as the boys stared at each other. They were both brought back by Allura clearing her throat. “As much as it's nice that you two find interest in each other, I'd really like to get down to business.”

They both jumped turning to her after what she’d said followed by both of them yelling in unison, “I don't know what you're talking about!”

Their faces flew back to eying each other, both blushing, “Ngh,” Lance groaned but turned back to Allura. He coughed in embarrassment and came to say what he came here for, “I’m here for a noise complaint.”

Allura scoffed and turned to Keith, “ _Again_?”

Keith only answered with a shrug and retort, “Can't help the walls are thin. Sounds more like a personal issue, to me.”

Lance shook his head. “W-wait, wait, wait. What’s going on here?” He found himself confused at the interaction that just took place in a matter of seconds.

Allura sighed, “Keith here is in the room next to you. This isn't the first time.” She had that look at Keith. The _I'm not angry, just disappointed_ look mom's give their kids all the time. He'd know.

“Excuse me? You’re the kid blasting that emo shit in the room next to me?!”

“ _Emo shit_? MCR is amazing.”

“No, its _really_ not. If you're gonna blast it, go do it at some stupid rave. I need peace and quiet!”

“Well then maybe you should've thought twice before moving in here!”

“And miss a chance at a financial advantage? Hell no!”

“ _Ladies_ , you're both beautiful. Keith, tune your music volume down if not, I'll have to raise your rent. Now, I'll be seeing you Lance. Keith was there something you needed?” Allura had completely shut their fight down within seconds. The authority and strength in her voice was amazing, both boys were found in shock. Lance would've found it hor if her attitude didn't remind him so much of his mother, right now.

Lance found himself no longer needed, “Right, thanks.” He found himself nearly elbowing Keith out of the way of the door, both sharing a glare, then finding himself to leaving the office.

He made his way back to his way back to his room door. Before opening it up, he paused and took a deep breath. _Damn_ , he thought to himself. Wait waited in front of his door contemplating while two men made their way upstairs, followed by Pidge. He stood there and watched the interaction.

“See ya, bros,” they said before leaving the two men alone in front of the door. So they were the ones who lived there. Wait. _Ones_?  _Bros_? So  _they_ the ones Pidge always brought up. Pidge passing Lance on the way to their doors. “What's up, Lance?” they greeted, wagging their eyebrows with a shit eating grin. “Saw you walking from the office? Finally break down?”

Behind them the two boys were heard chuckling.

"Aw, they called you bro, Shiro," that was Matt's voice. He always found it surprising him and Pidge lived so close together, considering how much Pidge complains about him. They were as tight as siblings came, though, he guessed. Everyone has fights, _right_? That seemed more like reassurance than a rhetorical question.

"Hey! Not out here, Matt, that embarrassing." The Shiro guy was obviously flustered. They were obviously happy, chuckling and sharing such _lovely_ PDA in the hallway of the share house. 

He focused his attention back to Pidge after hearing the first door of the hall open and close, embarrassed chuckles disappearing. He found himself wiggling his own eyebrows back at Pidge. “What about you? Clockblocking for that beloved brother of yours?”

Their interaction was brief but a door opening behind them turned their attention to Keith walking back into his room, closing the door quickly behind him. He must've ran or something considering the time between seeing Matt and Shiro leave to talking to Pidge.

“Hey, drinks tonight?” Lance invited, talking to Pidge once again. “On me this time? Just not too many. You know me: cheap as hell,” He added, in a joking tone.

“Please, your broke ass wouldn't even be able to afford the cheapest pisswater for me. But yeah, sure, why not. I'll tell Hunk when he's back from school and we can hit down town up,” Pidge agreed, teasingly as they failed to keep a straight face and a chuckle following, both going to their rooms.

He made his was back to his bed. He heard music again, but thankfully more quiet this time. Almost like a mumble going through the walls. _Much better_. He sighed in relief. Who was that guy, though? Like, _really_? Keith piqued his interest. Probably not the MCR, mullet loving emo kid part, but still. He wanted to know more. There's more to that fine young man, right? He sure hoped so. If not, he really hated him more than he currently did. You can hate someone and still be interested, right? That's a thing? He sure hoped so.

“Drinks. It's just drinks. Maybe if I invited him, he'd come…?” He whispered to himself. Minutes passed, the music played softly, not really annoying him anymore and ticks from his clock posed the time passing. Finally a knock came to his door.

“Oi, Lance, let's go,” someone called out, sounded like Hunk.

“Hey bitch, let's go. Your treat right?” A teasing voice called out. Definitely Pidge. Drinks. Just what he wanted. Something to take his mind off things.

 


	2. Unwanted Company and Aggressive Flirting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance invites unwanted people by betraying someone who could ruin his life, Keith and Lance tango in the hallway in front of everyone, and Lance invites Keith to a drinking contest and low key foreign language flirt battle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's been awhile since I've posted a chapter to this, I've just been busy.  
> Without further ado, I present TW chapter 2! And beta'd this time, too!  
> Also side note, everyone's old enough to drink and there's Spanish and Korean in this. The translations will be at the end.

Lance groaned as a knock echoed through the room. “Be there in a sec!” he yelled lethargically at the door.

  
It wasn't until about two minutes later when he finally made his way to the door, grabbing his sweater. With his hand finally on the door, Pidge whispered, “Hurry up! I don't think I can take the love birds tagging along if they think we’re going somewhere!”

  
This was perfect; his scowl to the echoes turned into a shit eating grin. This was good. This was an opportunity. He took his hand off the door and backed away.

  
“Oh, yeah, give me a sec! Just getting ready! Gotta look good for the lads and ladies,” he gestured in a suave motion, hoping they could hear his flirtatious tone and just leave it at that.

  
“Oh- y-yeah, we hear you, Lance! Take your time!” Hunk choked out, flustered as he remembered what Lance usually went to bars for. Hunk was possibly the most innocent and purest friend he had, to be honest, and he knew how to buy time with him. Though, what Lance was really hoping for was that Pidge wouldn’t disappoint him with a good response.

  
A slap could be heard from the door soon after the response. Good. Actually, scratch that. Hunk just got hit, but he was assured that if Pidge did it, then it wouldn't have hurt that much. But this meant he was about to get what he was waiting for, which was good.

  
“No, Hunk! Don't give in so easily! LANCE! If you aren't done in 5 minutes we’re leaving your broke ass here!” Pidge yelled. This was what he had been waiting for. For his trusting, little birb of a sassy friend to come through and just…. Let it out.

  
They waited for a response from Lance, but instead what they got was a door at the end of the hall opening and a worried Matt sticking his head out.

  
“Are you okay, Katie?” their worried brother asked, sighing as he saw both them and Hunk in front of Lance’s door, “Oh.”

  
A little exchanged followed their brother’s recognition as Pidge corrected “IT’S PIDGE!” and a slightly flinching response from their brother with a “I’m so, so sorry!”

  
Not soon after Matt stuck his head out, Shiro’s head appeared above his own. “What's going- Oh,” then there was the pause of realisation. “Are you guys going out?” he asked in probably the most genuinely interested, most innocent, and gentlest way anyone with an ulterior motive could ask.

  
“No, we’re just, uh…” Hunk paused, knowing if he told their brother and Shiro, Pidge would quite possibly kill him; but couldn't quite find it in himself to lie, especially not to Shiro.

  
“We’re gonna go to Hunk’s apartment for, um… Movie night!” Pidge peeped. Possibly not their best lie, but it was the best they could come up with off the top of their head to their brother at the moment. “And Lance won't HURRY UP!” they practically screamed, wanting to escape as soon as they could.

  
Lance burst out of his room, ready for a night out on the town with his usual, casual clothes on for a night out on the town with his snazzy green sweater. The one he always wears that Hunk and Pidge would tell him is not a sweater you should wear to pick people up in. As Pidge exactly put it, “it looks like someone took a green blazer no one wanted and added a hood to it,” but oh well. He loved it, anyways. And he loved people, too. He was sure he would find someone who thought the same of his sweater, someday.

  
“Ha! What are you talking about, Pidgey?! We’re going out for drinks!” he declared to the entire hallway. Next, he turned to Matt and Shiro, and pretty much sung, “You guys wanna join?”

  
Pidge gasped, flabbergasted. They were smart enough to know when Lance was plotting something. “LANCE MCCLAIN-” was all they could get out before a devious gleam flashed from Matt as the light reflected from his glasses.

  
“Yeah, of course! Let us get ready!” Matt affirmed, darting back into his room. Shiro followed soon after, closing the door behind him.

  
Once their brother was no longer within earshot, Pidge gave a raging scowl to Lance, who was leaning on his door with a smug smile. “Lance, you're going to regret this decision,” was all they growled to him before making their way downstairs to the door.

  
“I think they're going to kill you…” Hunk simply stated. Both him and Lance made eye contact and laughed. “Just kidding, just kidding-” but their laughing soon seized as Hunk cleared his throat to mumble, “But seriously, they're going to do something that will make you wish they killed you. Watch out, buddy.”

  
Following the conversation, Hunk patted Lance on the shoulder and left him to follow Pidge. Matt left his room soon after with Shiro in tow. Shiro gave Lance a little wave as he followed the others and left Matt to lock their door. Right, his door, he should probably lock it.

  
“MCCLAIN IT’S BEEN FIVE MINUTES!” Pidge's voice echoed throughout the shared house.

  
“Yeah, yeah. Let me get my stuff, you impatient little shit!” he retorted, hopefully his reply was just as loud as theirs. He was sure he earned the label 'attention whore' at this point.

  
Just as he locked his door he made it about a fourth of the way down before someone came walking out of their door. “Good,” Lance whispered as he went in to take his chance.

  
He sped up as he intentionally collided with the young man in front of him. Both men would have fallen to the ground had it not been for Lance, who had braced himself for the collision, catching the other man in his arms before they both fell.

  
They made eye contact and Keith scowled, probably just as fiercely as Pidge, Lance’s eyes widened. Shit, probably not the best course of action.

  
“You guys are loud. I came out here to check what was happening,” cried out an almost reluctant Keith as he broke their eye contact. He was desperate for a reason to explain why he’d left his room in the first place and hoped his response wasn't too forced, considering Lance never asked in the first place. He pushed himself out of Lance’s embrace and quickly turned his face to hide his blush.

  
“Yeah, of course, we’re just - uh - going to a bar. You know,” he shrugged as Keith pulled away. Lance took a step back. He attempted to stifle a blush but he wasn't entirely sure how that was going.

  
Having been on the stairwell of the share house, everyone could see their interaction from the doorway. Having realised their mistakes, Lance and Keith, quickly looked to their crowd. Pidge gave a sinister smile, Hunk winked at Lance, Matt giggled, and Shiro crossed his arms, as though in thought.

  
A moment passed and Shiro gave a suggestion, “Keith, you're still dressed. Why don't you come with us?”

  
Only then had it come to Lance’s attention, Keith was still in casual clothes. Some black pants with a black tank top, with a red leather jacket over it. All he was missing was shoes. And this late at night, nonetheless!

  
“Ah… Sure… Sure, I guess,” Keith replied. A little too quickly, Lance mentally noted as Keith continued, “Let me get some shoes on.”

  
Lance made his way downstairs and Hunk welcomed him back with an elbow nudge and eyebrow wiggle. Lance blushed and turned his face away, in an attempt to avoid Hunk, but forgot Pidge was on his other side. Pidge shook their head and sighed. “I didn't know emo was your new type,” they whispered, seemingly only purposefully, sending Lance into a deeper blush.

  
Matt placed his hands on his hips as they waited and insisted, “Why don't we all just go out tonight? It makes no sense not to invite Allura and Coran at this point.”

  
Pidge choked on air and began to cross their arms. “Right, more people, just what we need!” they retorted, sarcastically of course, but her brother took this as an agreement to his questioning.

  
“Great, I’ll go get them!” he chuckled as he made his way over to the doors pretty much right ahead of them from the doorway. Pidge sighed once more and Shiro leaned over to address them.

  
“Sorry, Pidge. He's just really pushy tonight,” he said nervously, followed by a slight laugh.

  
“Yeah, I’m sure you'd know, Shiro. First-handedly,” they chided as Shiro broke eye contact and his face lit up as bright as Lance’s and silence shortly following the doorway. Hunk was seemingly at ease, knowing Pidge had nothing against him, both in a skeletons in people’s closets and a rage aspect.

  
“I didn't- ah, I just- right…” Shiro stuttered in response, trying to fill the silence but failing to find anything further to say.

  
Matt returned approximately the same time Keith finally made his way down the stairs. “They said they’d meet us there!” Matt responded as they had looked at him questionably, waiting to see if the others were joining.

  
“Where? We haven't even decided which bar…” Lance sighed, Hunk sighed, as well, followed right after in a disappointed retort.

  
“Lance, there's only, like…. One bar in this town worth going to, and I think we can all agree it's The Lion’s Den.”

  
“Yeah, okay, but what about that one time-”

  
“No, Lance. Just let it go. I was only trying to be nice that night. You weren't exactly as happy and cheery as you are tonight.”

  
“You tricked me?! Into thinking somewhere was actually worth going to?! While I was drunk?!” Lance gasped, having been betrayed Hunk, and dramatically swished his hair from his forehead.

  
“Okay, but in his defense, Arus is a pretty good place to drink,” Keith added, having hoped not to become too invisible in the group’s conversation.

  
“See! Even Keith understands there's other options!”

  
“Yeah, but that place has been shut down since… I don't know,” Shiro sighed.

  
“Oh, well then there's really no other place worth going to,” Keith sighed. “It's been awhile since I've been out drinking,” he added, mumbled under his breath.

  
“It was a little after The Lion’s Den opened. The owner couldn't take the competition and shut it down,” Matt mentioned. “It's a shame, too. Coran had such a fun time working there with Alfor before it shut down.”

  
“Alfor?” Lance asked, practically lost.

  
“Allura’s dad. He had other hobbies besides running a share house, you know,” Shiro answered, clarifying.

  
“Right. Anyways, about which bar-”

  
“Lance, shut the fuck up. We’re going to The Lion’s Den. That's nonnegotiable,” Pidge spoke trying to hurry the night along. Everyone nodded in agreement as Pidge made their way out of the door first. Hunk practically dragged Lance along as he wallowed in self-pity and Keith followed beside Shiro and Matt.

  
\--------------

  
Everyone in the group were sped down the sidewalk to the bar at Keith and Lance’s pace. Both tried to out pace the other and their friends attempted to keep up. Shiro and Matt were in the back of the group, as they followed and swung their hands together.

  
“Hey, if you guys go any faster, you’re going to go back in time and see Marty McFly come back to the future,” Shiro chuckled as the group had nearly left them behind. “By the way, we’re -”

  
“God, Shiro, you're so old,” Pidge scoffed and everyone came to a halting stop, even Lance and Keith turned around to look disapprovingly at Pidge. “What is it now?” they sighed.

  
“Old?! That movie is a treasure to be enjoyed by people of all ages!” Lance yelped. “How dare you assume that movie is loved only by old people!”

  
“Shiro isn't even that old!” Keith’s complaint followed right after Lance’s own complaint.

  
Hunk shook his head and sighed. He crossed his arms over his chest. “Sorry Pidge, I’ve got to take their side this time. The movie is timeless. The references are loved by all,” he added.

  
“Besides, I'm more than positive Keith’s already been to the 80s. Have you seen his mullet?!” Lance added as well, trying to sneak in a jab at keith.

  
“Excuse me?! I'll have you know this is a Korean mullet, which is popular in my culture, you uncultured little-” Keith began to explain with an angered tone at Lance but was soon cut off by Matt clearing his throat starting to open his mouth, but was interrupted with his sibling spouting a comment.

  
“My, aren't we feisty today,” Pidge cut in with a humoured tone before Matt could open his mouth. Their eyebrows waggled over in Lance’s direction.

  
“Excuse me?!” Lance squawked, flustered, as Matt again cleared his throat.

  
“By the way, we’re here…” He mumbled, and looked to Shiro, “That's why Shiro tried to stop you guys. Not for some bonding session over an 80’s movie.”

  
They all paused and looked to the building in front of them. Oh, they were here, alright. So were their other two friends. Keith rubbed the back of his neck and Lance chided, crossing his arms like Hunk had not long ago. Allura and Coran stood speechless at the front door of the bar, no less waiting for the other’s to arrive, not expecting the scene they just witnessed.

  
“Awkward…” Hunk sung, his head moving to avoid eye contact with anyone.

“Right, so, drinks,” Lance added, his hands and arms now folded behind his head, trying desperately not to look over to Keith.

 

“Let’s go, Shiro,” was all Keith deadpanned before walking ahead to enter the bar with Allura and Coran following suit. Shiro sighed and nodded, grabbing Matt’s hand in his again and entering.

  
“Bonding my ass,” Lance retorted under his breath, “The nerve of him…”

  
“Well at least you know he's a feisty one,” Pidge chuckled and wiggled their eyebrows again. “So this is your new type, huh, Lance. Emo on the streets, feisty in the-”

  
“PIDGE, NO!” “Can you maybe chill?”’

  
Both Hunk and Lance both brought hands to their ears to block out Pidge’s sarcasm. At least, that's what Lance was hoping it was. They refused to look at Pidge and they both made their way into the bar, Pidge letting out a dark chuckle before being the last one inside. A perfect plan, practically plotting itself, was now in motion in their head.

  
\--------------

  
“DRINK, DRINK, DRINK!”

  
The crowd echoed as Coran poured beer down his throat. The whole group was watching with amusement. He could really hold his liquor. He finished what seemed to be his upteenth cup of beer and he wiped his mouth.

  
“That kids, is how you start off a hang at a bar!” Coran announced, showing his proud accomplishment to everyone.

  
“You’re still sober…?” Hunk asked, curiously. He began to inspect Coran from side to side.

  
“Of course, Hunk. Anyone who can't handle a few drinks is weak!” he teased as he nudged Allura, who was sitting next to him at the counter.

  
“Please, Coran! Someone has to be the DD tonight. Besides...” she retorted and sipped from her cup of soda. She then put it down and turned towards the bar and mumbled, “We all know what happened last time I was drunk…” and although they couldn't see her face, her ears were a shade of red.

  
“Oh? Please, do tell,” Lance snickered as he squeezed his way onto the counter, in between Allura and Coran, leaning on the counter and towards her.

  
“Lance,” said a stern Shiro, who was next to Coran. He began to shake his head.

  
“NOTHING!” Allura yelped, and pushed Lance away, he nearly fell back onto a table behind them.

  
“Woah, shit!” Lance cried as he caught himself on the table. He found himself blinking for a moment, then smoothing his hair and and wiggling his eyebrows, “Well, I like a strong woman.”

  
“LANCE,” another stern voice called, louder. This time from Hunk. As Shiro had did, he began to shake his head.

  
“Shut up and drink already,” Keith scoffed as the draft he was drinking made its way to his lips, “that's why we’re here, anyways.”

  
“Keith,” Matt whispered, from where he sat next to Shiro and Keith.

  
“Is that so, Mullet boy? How about we play a game, then?!” Lance declared as he made his way over to Keith.

  
“Yeah? Well let's go!” Keith belittled as he stood from his chair.

  
“To bed,” Pidge whispered to Hunk next to them and nudged them. They both began to chuckle, but it was ignored as the tense atmosphere grew thicker between Lance and Keith.

  
“You, me. Drinking game, now. One to drink the most wins!” Lance proclaimed  
and Keith crossed his arms.

  
“I’ve already downed one beer, you've just been sitting there flirting the whole time. Which, by the way, you suck at!” Keith practically yelled back.

  
“What's that?! Getting jealous?! And do you really think I’d give you I’d give you a handicap? Let's go, Mullet!” He retorted as he grabbed Hunk’s beer from the counter and chugged it. Hunk sighed, dejected, but shrugged and signalled for another beer. “You ready?!”

  
“Fine, lets!”

  
They both stood and moved to the table Lance almost fell over. They sat across each other and eyed the other down.

  
Shiro sighed, facepalming. Matt pat him on the back and looked to the counter, down to Pidge and made a money gesture. Pidge shook their head back and pointed to their chest. Coran looked to the bartender and whispered, nudging his head to the boys. The bartender nodded and brought two drafts over to where the boys were.

  
Lance stood up and chanted to Keith, “When I say drinking you say?”

  
Everyone looked to Keith curiously, and he was confused. “Uh…. Um… D-drinking game?” he guessed.

  
Lance sighed and sat back down, “Right, we’ll work on it.”

  
\--------------

  
“Let's go! Come on!” “You got this, Keith!” “No, Lance has this in the bag!”

  
Cheers going in between the whole group as the boys made their way to their 10th drink. Both getting to their limits as quickly as the game had started. Keith’s eyes slowly dropping, Lance lightly swaying.

  
“Y-you getting tired, Mulleh…. Mullet boy?” Lance let out, cheeks slowly reddening.

  
Keith hiccupped before replying, “Shut up and drink, pretty boy.”

  
“D’aw you called me pretty,” Lance chuckled, and slurred, as his head tilt to the side.

  
“Pretty? Did I say pretty? I, 똥, uh… Meant pretty dumb,” Keith retorted, snorting shortly after his response like he made the comeback of a century.

  
“Next drink, boys!” “Shut up and drink, Lance.”

  
Both Matt and Pidge placed the drinks down in front of their designated friend, glaring at each other.

  
Lance held his hand up to Pidge and stood up, stumbling back a little. Hunk caught him as he fell backwards, Lance quickly stood himself back up. “Pretty dumb? Say that... Tah-to my face, puta! Vienes aquí.” Lance called out to Keith as he made his way to Keith’s side of the table.

  
Pidge chuckled and looked to Hunk, he giggled in response and he whispered “... y bésame,” to Lance as they both break out in laughter.

  
“HUNK!” he quipped.

  
“What’d he say?!” Keith complained, having not heard Hunk’s whisper.

  
“Don’t worry about it! Just come at me, Keith!” but this gave him an idea. Lance now noticed he could spout whatever he wanted to in Spanish and have no one except Hunk know what he had said, and he knew Hunk wouldn’t repeat it.

 

“Yeah?”

  
“Hell yeah!”

  
“Well I'm right here! You come at me!”

  
“Oh, I will!”

  
“I can handle you, myself! What are you gonna do?”

  
“I’m gonna get you real good, nene!” Lance shouted.

  
“What did you just call me?”

  
“I called you a ba- I called you a bitch!”

  
“Oh yeah?! Well…. Well! 잘생겼어요!” Keith yelled back, Shiro choked on his beer when he heard Keith yell.

  
“What Korean drab are you throwing at me, k-pop kid!”

  
“I- I said you're a piece of shit!” Shiro coughed on the choked beer in the background of their little fight, shaking his head. Keith had apparently had the same idea as Lance, except with Shiro in this case.

  
“Oh yeah?! Well! ¡Me gustan tus ojos y tu coló!” Hunk now begun choking on his beer, and Pidge looked to him with worry.

  
“What?!”

  
“I called you an ass!” He replied back.

  
“재킷이 잘 어울려요!” Keith yelled back, standing from his chair, and swayed around a big before stabilizing his stance.

  
“¡Me encanta el sonido de tu voz!” He grinned as he continued with his flirtatious statements, knowing the mullet boy didn’t even understand. It began to entertain the current drunk Lance.

  
“웃는 얼굴이 아름다워요!”

  
“Oh, yeah? Dios míos, prepare yourself, cariño! Here I come-” was all Lance got out before tripping on a leg of a chair and at Keith. A loud bang followed as they both fell to the ground and no noise followed. They just kinda laid there.

  
“Is it just me or did that seem more tense than it should've been,” Pidge chuckled even though it fell on deaf ears. Everyone crowded around as Hunk made his way over to the two boys.

  
Hunk squatted next to them and poked Lance’s back asking in a worried tone, “Hey buddy, you okay? That was, uh…. Wild.”

  
Only Keith replied, but it was only a groan. Both Keith and Lance’s eyes were closed, toppled on top of each other. Lance’s face in the crook of Keith’s neck. They had passed out. They passed the fuck out. This was just too good.

  
Shiro cleared his throat as he squatted down next to Hunk whispering, “So, um, are we gonna talk about how they just…. You know.”

  
Hunk blushed a little whispering back, “Let’s not and say we did.”

  
Matt leaned on Shiro - Pidge doing the same to Hunk, just in a less ‘seductive’ manner - as Hunk and Shiro were the group’s designated translators for the passed out fools. Pidge and Matt were determined to get some answers

  
“So what was that about?” Pidge asked as they leaned harder on Hunk, pressuring him. Hunk sweating profusely.

  
Matt began to rub Shiro’s shoulders as he whispered, “So what was that about?” into his boyfriend’s ear. Shiro begun to blush, redder than Keith’s leather jacket.

  
“I think I need to- I think we need to leave,” Shiro let out as he looked to Hunk. Hunk nodded and pulled Lance off Keith, Shiro doing the same for Keith. Both boys were slung over the shoulders of their translators and both Shiro and Hunk sigh almost simultaneously. “What a night.”

  
A jingle of keys followed the sighed and Allura approached them. “See, I told you we’d need a DD,” she chuckled, proud of herself.

  
“Right let's go!” Coran calls out and everyone except for Pidge and Matt made their way out.

  
“Are you thinking what I'm thinking?” Pidge snickered.

  
“Yeah, let’s do this,” Matt replied and they slowly made their way out of the bar, plotting together.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A wise man once said.... "NEVER USE GOOGLE TRANSLATE FOR YOUR TRANSLATIONS, RARELY ARE THEY COMPLETELY CORRECT." Wise words for a wise man, they were.... So these aren't translated with it. But if I fucked up somewhere let me know.
> 
> "똥" - "Shit"
> 
> “puta! Vienes aquí.” - "bitch! Come here."
> 
> “y bésame” - "... And kiss me"
> 
> "nene” - "babe/baby"
> 
> “잘생겼어요!” - "You're handsome!"
> 
> "¡Me gustan tus ojos y tu coló!” - "I like your eyes and your ass!"
> 
> “재킷이 잘 어울려요!” - "That jacket looks nice on you!"
> 
> “¡Me encanta el sonido de tu voz!” - "I love the sound of your voice!"
> 
> “웃는 얼굴이 아름다워요!” - "Your smile is beautiful!"
> 
> “Dios míos," - "My god"
> 
> "cariño!" - "Sweetie/babe"


	3. Gay Plots ft. The Holy Holt Duo and Associates

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everybody and their mother has some explaining to do...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's like some smut at the beginning but for comical and plot reasons, not explicit, though, if you want to skip it just scroll to where there's:  
> “KEITH!”   
> “LANCE?!"
> 
> I had the chapter named that on google docs and a beta told me to name it that on here, too. So here's the new chapter! After 84 years!
> 
> There's some time jumping in here, so heads up.

It was a morning like every other morning after going to a bar for Lance. Snuggled in his room with the sun sneaking through the slits of his blinds. He had a killer headache and hangover. It was all the same except for one thing. He was accompanied by a warm body he was spooning. It came to his attention they were both naked, as well.

  
_HOLY SHIT,_ he thought to himself, deciding whether or not to freak out or jump out of happiness that he finally landed someone. But if he jumped for joy, maybe the person would wake up and leave? He couldn't take that risk… It was just… Too comforting? He's always imagined a moment like this, and now that it’s happened, it felt him with a sense of happiness. And overexcitement. _THIS IS HAPPENING. IT HAPPENED. I FINALLY DID IT. I FINALLY LANDED SOMEONE. AND THEY LANDED. IN MY BED. NAKED!_

  
Honestly, it really _was_ unexpected at this point for him considering he couldn't remember what even happened last night. So any outcome could have presented itself, though the outcome where he ended up with a black eye was more plausible.

  
His hands and arms were wrapped around the other person’s thin waist and his hands were beginning to sweat. He decided to bring them closer, snuggling his face further through their hair, which wasn’t any longer than to the bottom of their neck. A man with long and black hair. Apparently Lance did have a type, now (though, Pidge didn't have to know they were right about that). The hair was currently smothering his face, and their hair was surely making his face oily beyond belief; and sure he loved his facial routine he had and hated an oily face but, the quiet atmosphere with sun poking through his blinds made the moment worth it. Besides, he’d just end up cleaning it later.

  
“Good morning, sunshine,” he whispered as he leaned into their ear, kissing it. The other had hummed in response, not moving an inch from the position they’d been in. Gee, how romantic. Not like he knew how mornings after worked, anyways, but he always had it imagined somehow differently in his head.

  
Lance sighed followed by a light chuckle. After, he nudged his groin against the other’s back side while he leaned forward to their neck, pressing kisses into it. The other had finally made a move to tilt their head further into the bed to give Lance more room to smother them in affection, they softly moaned, and leaned their ass into the nudge. _Oh god, this is going to be the end of me,_ he thought. His face flustered as he buried his face further into the neck in front of him.

  
A few minutes passed as Lance hadn't given up his attack on the other’s neck and some added light frottage and his companion hadn’t stopped his advances. This is a good sign, right? He pushed their hair away from their neck. The other person finally gave a giggle as if he was ticklish and the other man’s ears began to flush red.

  
“Good morning, indeed,” they finally replied, raspy and deep. Both men finally turn to look each other in the face, Lance turned the other onto their back and leaned over them. They then paused, snickers and smiles dropping in a second flat. Both looked each other into their eyes flustered, as well as severely alarmed. If they weren't awake after the little session they just had, they were now.

  
“KEITH!”   
“LANCE?!”

  
This happened. _OhmygodIdiditwithKeith_. It’s happening. This. Right here. Holy crow.

  
Any heat or intimacy they had going cleared the room when they pushed each other away, falling on the ground off the small bed on opposite sides. Keith looked down and remembered he was naked, and he pulled sheets down from the bed to cover his lower half. Lance quickly stood up to look at the side of the bed where Keith had fallen. Of course not to check if he was okay, no, he wanted his stolen blankets to cover up with, too. Keith just stole them first, so he had to pull back. Right. That's it. Keith, having now seen Lance, full frontal, leaning over a bed to look over to where he fell sent alarms through his head and he began to scream.

  
Lance was caught off guard by the screaming and he flinched back, his hand landed on his night stand to catch himself. It landed on something with a rubbery texture and he looked down and had began screaming, too. There laid a tied condom with an open bottle of lube next to it. He picked up the condom and threw it at Keith, neither of them had stopped screaming.

  
He caught it and threw it immediately to the ground, prompting him to scream in a higher octave for a couple of seconds before glaring at Lance.

  
“WHY WOULD YOU THROW THAT AT ME!?” Keith screeched to Lance.

  
“I PANICKED!”

  
“SO YOU THROW A USED CONDOM AT ME?!”

  
“YES?!”

  
“God how am I here right now-” Keith began.

  
“Good question! Why are _you_ in my room _naked_ -” Lance was interrupted, being stopped mid sentence right back.

  
“Is that an insult?!”

  
“Yeah?! I don't know! HOW-?!”

  
“AH I DON'T KNOW BUT I NEED TO LEAVE,” Keith began to panic, standing up to look for his clothes. Once he reached them, he balled them up around his crotch out the door, assumingly to his own room.

  
This is it. _This is when I would be found dead in Miami_ , Lance thought to himself. He collected his clothes and headed to the bathroom in a fit of panic.

  
\----------

  
**One week later:**

  
“Gentlemen,” Allura prompts to the chairs in front of her desk in the sharehouse office, “and gentlebirbs,” she added. Her and Pidge chuckled slightly but she soon returned to being deadpan and Pidge raised their eyebrows in response.

  
There, in front of her office desk, with the door shut, stood Matt, Pidge, Shiro, and Hunk. Coran stood by the door, blocking it, as if to shut them inside and block their only reasonable escape route.

  
“I believe we all know what this is about,” she began, leaning forward onto her desk and resting her chin on propped hands.

  
“Ohmygodthisishappening,” Hunk begun, fidgeting his hands, sweating bullets.

  
Pidge patted his back, “Don't give in, Hunk. Stay strong for mother.” Then they focus back to Allura, and they pushed their glasses up. “I believe I have the right to a lawyer.”

  
“This isn't an interrogation, Pidge,” Allura replied, speaking in a comforting tone. “Just relax, we’re all friends here,” she continued, smiling at Hunk with a seemingly passive aggressive grin.

  
“Right, ‘friends’,” Matt air quoted. “Friends who just happen to all live in the same sharehouse under the dictatorship of you,” he paused and gestured to Allura, “a strong, terrifying, independent woman named Allura, who will use her power to get what she wants no matter what,” he rambled, avoiding eye contact with Allura. She followed his rambling with an evil snicker.

  
“Let's get down to business, fellow associates,” Coran said, speaking up behind them.

  
“See? At least Coran respects not using a friendship against us. Associates is more formal,” Matt sighed.

  
Coran gave a nervous cough, “‘Friendship’. Really funny, Matthew.”

  
“Gee you know how to make the people you're about to interrogate feel so ready to explain everything,” Matt retorted, smiling back to him.

  
“Anyways.” Pidge shrugged.

  
“Right, back to the topic at hand,” Allura added.

  
“So what is this all about?” Shiro finally spoke up, looking to everyone. He probably was honestly the only one who didn't know what was about to be discussed right now.

  
“Klance,” Pidge answered, Allura nods.

  
“Klance?”

  
“You know… Keith + Lance = Klance?”

  
“Yeah but why Klance? Why not, like… McKogane, or Leith, or-”

  
“Look Shiro, we’ve had this talk,” Matt sighed.

  
“Right. Klance.”

  
“You’ve talked about this?” Coran questioned, raising an eyebrow.

  
“Okay, we aren't the ones at question here,” Pidge retorted.

  
“Um? Yes, we are?” Hunk continued to fidget.

  
“Hunk’s right, you are,” Coran confirmed, nodding his head.

  
“OhgodwhatdidIdotodeservethis,” Hunk continued to nervously mumble.

  
“I don't know, Hunk, you tell me,” Allura prodded.

  
“Okay, we did it, I swear it was only a joke, we didn't mean for this to happen I promise Allura I'm so sorry-” Hunk peeped, interrupted by Pidge elbowing him in the stomach.

  
“You wanna know what happened?” Pidge answered, walking to sit in a chair in front of Allura’s desk. “Well, I can supply you with the story.”

  
“From the beginning?”

  
“From the beginning,” they nodded. “It all started when an explosion occurred and every piece of the explosion created a universe. This is know as the big ba-”

  
Matt shoved Pidge and walked around to sit in the chair next to her, “Let me start,” he scoffed. “It really all began when Keith came to our room last week. After that whole complaint situation.”

  
\----------

  
**A week ago:**

  
Matt and Shiro were snuggling on their couch watching the news. Shiro had been trying to tickle Matt which was sending him into fits of laughter.

  
\----------

  
“MATT,” Shiro interrupted, flustered.

  
“No, Shiro, I'm setting up the story. I was asked to start from the beginning so I am. Now let me continue. So, where was I..? Oh, right!”

  
\----------

  
Their fits of laughter and playing were interrupted as Keith rushed into their room, slamming the door open.

  
“SHIRO!” he called out quickly. His face was as red as his leather jacket.

  
Both men on the couch jumped away from each other as quickly as possible. _Suspicious_ , Matt noted, knowing he’d been out for awhile before rudely interrupting him and Shiro.

  
“He's too hot. I can't handle it. I can't handle him. Too extreme o a temperature to even be around. I can't hit on him, and I don't think I can hit him, what do I do-”

  
“ _Kill him_ ,” Matt cackled.

  
“ _Matt_ ,” Shiro interjected with that authoritative ‘dad’ tone.

  
Matt pouted and scooted away from Shiro, further, and they both sighed, dejectedly. Shiro patted to the new room between him and Matt on the couch. Keith shut the door and rushed to sit down.

  
“Ever heard of knocking?” Matt chided.

  
“Maybe if your boyfriend didn't tell me,” Keith began air quotes and changed his voice to imitate Shiro, “‘I’m always just a door away, Keith. My door is always opened to you, blah blah blah’.”

  
“I'm pretty sure that I didn't say the whole ‘blah’ in your air quote, but your imitations have gotten better, so okay,” Shiro shrugged. “What did you need this time?”

  
“The new guy, the one next door to me. Why was I not told he was hot?!”

  
“Hm? The new Lance kid? Pidge and Hunk’s friend? I would've thought Pidge would've at least introduce you. He been here like… 2, 3 weeks, and you both always meet on Saturday nights for your little ‘conspiracy sessions’-”

  
“THE TRUTH IS OUT THERE, SHIRO!”

  
“- Anyways, he’s been here for 2 weeks, at least? You haven't noticed him? Seen him around at all?”

  
“Their eating schedules are a bit staggered,” Matt mentioned, “so I'm not surprised they haven't met in the kitchen. They leave and return at different times, too.”

  
“Oh, that makes sense, I guess,” Shiro nodded.

  
“You know our eating schedules, Matt?!”

  
“No, I don't. I just happen to be in the kitchen before you leave and leave when Lance just gets started eating. It's been like just a week at least, unless we or he goes out to eat. Not to mention I only have online classes this semester. So I hear about everything coming and going considering where our door is.”

  
“Right. I hope you know that's pretty suspect, Matt,” he scoffed. “But come on! You act like this isn't a big deal or anything for me. He's hot and I'm gay. Like… Really gay. You know this.”

  
“I know this and I love you,” Matt chuckled, placing a hand on Keith's shoulder.

  
“Aw, you've been watching Parks and Rec,” Shiro giggled, and they share a high five.

  
“Stop rubbing this domestic relationshit in my face!” Keith complained.

  
“Relationshit…? Relationship…? Relation... Shit… oh,” Shiro quietly contemplated.

  
“Relationshit? That's a new one,” Matt chuckled.

  
“UGH, MATT!”

  
“Look, I know. He’s hot, Keith. He's got fine,” he began to lean in and whisper to Keith, “tanned skin with broad shoulders with short hair you could just grasp and p-”

  
“MATT,” Shiro interrupted, shaking his head.

  
“Joking, joking!” he pleaded, “Maybe not so much for Keith,” he nudged, “but you're the only broad shouldered man with all the tuff of hair I can pull I need in my life, Kashi-”

  
“EW EW EW!!!!” Keith yelped. “I'm literally right here! Between both of you!”

  
“It's even better when someone's watching, Kei-”

  
“MATT THIS IS MY LITTLE BROTHER!” Shiro cut in.

  
“So it'd be fine if it was anyone else?” he joked, cracking himself up so much he started to tear up.

  
\----------

  
Pidge began to dry heave, making gag if noises, Shiro is a flushed mess, and Hunk is covering his ears.

  
“DAMNIT MATT. STAY FOCUSED!” Pidge complained.

  
“Ugh, you guys are no fun. I'm just telling it how it was,” Matt complained, clearing his throat. “Okay, so anyways, Keith told us he was interested in him, so…” he paused and looked to Pidge.

  
Pidge continued where he left off, “Then the catalyst presented itself. Long story short, Keith headed back to his room and Matt called me to their room with Hunk. We scoped out a plan neither of them would be able to figure out.”

  
Coran grew wide-eyed, “Plan?”

  
“Okay, so… Well, I know this part,” Allura sighed.

  
“I don't!” Coran screeched. “Am I the only one who doesn't?!”

  
“You're the uncle figure, Coran. You said it yourself, you aren't a ‘friend’,” Matt shrugged, shaking his head.

  
Pidge shook their head as well and looked back to Coran. “Okay, so Allura also met us in the room and told us what happened. All we had to do was allow Lance to bring it all together.”

  
“Hm?”

  
“Lance asked to go out for drinks with us. When he's interested in something, he is not necessarily graceful about it… Or take a subtle approach. By Lance asking to go out, it was only assumed he had a plan of his own to either bring Keith out or have Shiro do it for him,” Pidge explained.

  
“Lance’s mind is really just a one-way street until it comes to meet a fork in the road of obvious ideas,” Hunk added.

  
“So what we really spent our time in the room planning out was a bet,” Pidge continued explaining for Coran.

  
“Really?” Coran inquired, “Without involving me?”

  
“Let's face it, Coran. You always lose.”

  
“Yeah, but what about that one time-”

  
“You didn't win, Coran. You were close, but no cigar.”

  
Coran shook his head in disappointment then raised his head back to everyone. “So, what were the bets?”

  
Pidge looked to everyone and they sighed, “Right. My turn. So, what they were was…”

  
\----------

  
**Later, last week at night:**

  
“I bet they hook up tonight,” Pidge opened with.

  
“No, no way. Not without our help, at least. I say they flirt, thinking they're both flirting lowkey to each other, but it's painfully obvious to everyone else,” Matt added.

  
“I’ll go in the bet with Matt,” Shiro nodded.

  
“Of course,” everyone except for him and Matt groaned.

  
“Alright, well I say they get in a bar fight, tonight,” Allura continued to add, placing her hands on her hips.

  
All that was left was Hunk. They all started at him in unison. He bit his lip, and after a minute of deliberation, he came to a decision.

  
“Okay, so…” He began. Everyone leaned in, drawing pressure down on him. “U-uh…” Hunk began to stutter. “Okay, I'll play safe and say they argue about something small tonight.”

  
Everyone groaned in unison again. “Hunk, that's cheating,” Allura complained. “I’m 99.9% sure their relationship so far is based off their little argument about the walls. I would know. I watched them meet each other for the first time.”

  
“Which is why it's a safe play,” he chuckled.

  
Matt cleared his throat, gathering attention. “Alright, operation: Keith and Lance is in progress.”

  
Allura shook her head, “Well, I'll be downstairs. I'll go out tonight with you all, you're going to need a DD.”

  
“Right, we’ll come get you,” Shiro said in acknowledgement waving bye.

  
After she was gone, Pidge leaned over the table in the room, “Operation….. Klance.”

  
“Really?” Hunk asked, scratching the back of his head.

  
“Yeah. I'm sticking in with it. Any other name is just too weird.”

  
“Like ‘Klance’ isn't,” Matt retorted.

  
“Shut up, Matt. Get ready to go, and wait for my signal.”

  
\----------

  
“ _Really_? And you all just left me out?” Coran whined.

  
“We’ve been over this, Coran. Now this isn't what I was talking about. I'm talking about what happened after.” Allura clearfield. “I've noticed-”

  
“Also, you explained how Lance had a plan, but how did you plan to account for Keith to join you?” Coran interrupted.

  
Shiro cleared his throat, “I may or may not have texted him to ask if he could stop by my and Matt’s room.”

  
“FOCUS!” Allura finally growled. “I brought you all here to figure out what happened after we left the bar, not to fill Coran in on the sharehouse drama.”

  
“I know but we got off track so I just assumed if you were distracted you would forget,” Pidge pouted.

  
“Yeah, right. Now spill,” she demanded.

  
Hunk took a deep, shaky breath and began the story this time.

  
\----------

  
**Last week, after the bar:**

  
“You guys, this isn't okay,” Hunk complained.

  
“Hunk, it's a prank, they aren't all supposed to be sleepover hot water tricks,” Pidge retorted:

  
“But this is just… I don't know. A step too far?”

  
“They deserve this, Hunk.”

  
“Only because they pissed you off…”

  
“Look just stick to the plan, Hunk!”

  
Shiro cut in, “In his defence, Pidge, we did just compile this plan 5 minutes ago.”

  
“Just shut up and help me, damnit!” Pidge screamed.

  
There they were. Keith and Lance, passed out, sprawled out on Lance’s single bed. Pidge was tying up a condom, like it was a simple water balloon.

  
\----------

  
“What were you tying up?” Allura raised an eyebrow in curiosity.

  
Pidge pushed their glasses up and snickered, “A simple concoction of powdered sugar and water.”

  
“Oh,” Allura gasped.

  
“You didn't!” Coran’s gasp soon followed Allura’s.

  
“Oh, but we did,” Matt muttered with a chuckled.

  
\----------

  
“I got it!” Matt called out as he entered Lance’s room again with an almost empty bottle of lube in his hand.

  
“Put it over there,” Pidge nodded and pointed to Lance’s nightstand, finishing up the tie on the condom and handed it to Matt. “Take this, too.”

  
He nodded and when he got to the nightstand he popped the cap open and placed it down, setting the condom next to it.

  
“What’s next?” Shiro asked.

  
“We strip them,” Pidge answered plainly.

  
“I’mnotstrippingthem,” Hunk muttered to himself, “we’reintoodeep.”

  
Matt sighed and started dragging Keith’s shirt off.

  
“What if they wake up?” Shiro contemplated.

  
“You guys flung them on the bed, and they're still asleep, I'm sure they're out for a good while,” Matt chuckled.

  
Pidge was well on their way to having Lance naked and so were Matt and Shiro with Keith. That was until Pidge stopped at Lance’s underwear.

  
“Hunk,” they cried. “Hunk I need your help.”

  
“What is it?” he pouted as he stood at the foot of the bed, twirling his fingers together nervously.

  
“Take ‘em off.”

  
“What?!”

  
“I said take ‘em off.”

  
“Pidge, I don't want to be involved as much as I already ha-”

  
“Hunk. Take. ‘Em. Off.” they demanded.

  
Hunk wimped as he made his way over to Lance, looked the other way and performed his task, covering Lance with a blanket quickly. “Ew, ew, ew, ew, EW!” he practically cried the whole time, thankful Keith and Lance were way beyond any point of waking up from a loud noise right now.

  
Matt giggle as him and Shiro stripped Keith completely and Matt covered Keith with the blanket, as well as slightly threw it over Lance. “So proud of you, Kashi. Thanks~” he singsung.

  
Shiro looked away from Matt dejected and walked to the door. “Remind never to go drinking with you guys ever again.” Hunk soon followed behind him and they walked out of Lance’s room.

  
\----------

  
Pidge cleared their throat, “Sure that’s the story but not the whole story. Let me finish it up.”

  
\----------

  
“You think they forgot about the bet?” Pidge whispered to Matt.

  
“Yeah, I don't feel like losing $20 to some stupid bet right now. Maybe Hunk won't bring up he won after this.”

  
They both jumped as Lance mumbled something. He grew quiet again as he stretched and reached an arm over Keith. Keith reached up to grab Lance’s arm and tuck his arm around himself.

  
“PFTT- HAAA!”   
“HAAAHAHHHHAHA!”

  
They both attempted to hold in a laugh, failing horribly.

  
\----------

  
“NO!” Allura yelled, flabbergasted.

  
“You guys didn't pay me…” Hunk cried.

  
“I KNOW! All on their own!” Pidge laughed out loud,attempting to ignore Hunk’s input. It took Pidge about 5 minutes to regain composure to continue the story. “After that we just kinda left them to cuddle each other.”

  
“Pidge do you understand how serious this is?” she shook her head. “As much as Klance is interesting, you forced it too much.”

  
“Hm?”

  
“For the past week they've been purposefully avoiding each other. Usually they never see each other because their schedules but now they bump into each other and it's just…. It's ugly.”

  
“What’s up?” Hunk finally asked.

  
“They just make awkward eye contact and step around each other. Then they just… I don't know… They just look disgustedly at each other and leave.” she explained.

  
“Pidge I told you-”

  
Hunk was cut off by Shiro’s phone going off. They all looked to him as he pulled his phone out and Coran excused him.

  
“One sec,” Shiro said before backing out of the room and answering his phone, “It’s work,” he mouthed, leaning in and leaving the room again.

  
“Rude,” Pidge coughed.

  
“At least he has a job, Pidge,” Matt threw at them.

  
“Not everyone is as successful as him, Ma-”

  
Once again Shiro cut in when he entered the room and looked around the room. “Look, I don't know what you guys are talking about now, but Matt, we have to go,” he sighed with a worried expression.

  
“What is it, babe? Was that not work?” he asked.

  
“Well, it was, but… That was Shay. Keith hurt himself and she got worried he might not be able to drive himself back. She thought she’d let me know.”

  
Allura quickly stood up, grabbing her keys off a key holder and chimed in, “Hunk, text Lance and tell him we’re on our way to the ER. Everyone else, get ready, we’re leaving in my car in 5,” she order as she reached for a coat and made her way out of the door.

  
“A mother hen, in her natural habitat. Rushing to her child’s side. Quite the spectacle,” Pidge observed, as if narrating an animal planet show.

  
“Pidge, not now,” Shiro shook his head and followed out of the room.

  
“And now the father rooster follows suit,” Pidge added.

  
Matt sighed and looked back to the door, “So if he's the dad and Allura’s the mom, what does that make me?”

  
“You're like the guy the parents introduce as ‘uncle Matt’ because the parents are sure the kids won't understand having 3 parents,” Pidge shrugged.

  
“Right. Anyways, let's go,” he chuckled and got up to leave. Everyone else soon following suit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, I've been procrastinating updating... I hate updating on mobile. I've already got the next chapter done, too, I'll add it sometime in the next week.


	4. How to: Turn Conspiracies Into Dates for Dummies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Make a conspiracy on how you never slept with the person you're attempting to woo. Trust me, it totally works.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LONG CHAPTER~!!! I actually did get it up in less than a week, so proud of myself.
> 
> Anyways, here's what happened on the Klace end of the whole week leading up to the ER visit. 
> 
> Enjoy~!

**_ 6 days prior to the ER: _ **

 

Lance had been pacing his room. Sure it wasn't the largest room, but he was still pacing it. Hunk was sitting on his couch, a coffee mug in hand, drowned in coffee cream and the tiniest hint of coffee.

“Lance, just sit down and have your cup of coffee with me. If something happens, it does, if it doesn't, then he was never worth it,” Hunk shrugged.

“No, you don't understand, Hunk. I think I have a type now!” Lance fret. “He was too hot and too much for me to handle, and I touched him, and now I’m going to die, or melt from the heat, and I want you to avenge me.”

“Yeah?” Hunk sighed. This again.

“And honestly, he's just…Ugh! Like, I don't think I've ever seen a person with beautiful eyes - and let me remind you Nyma had eyes like the stars - but like he has,” Lance gestured to his eyes and squeezed his hands into frustrated fists, “and I landed that… But then I didn't?! I think I just messed up big time.”

“Yes, I know this, Lance. You’ve been telling me about this mystery man for about 30 minutes. Not even a ‘How’s your morning so far, my Hunk of a man?’ just straight to ‘Hunk help I'm bi as fuck for my neighbor.’”

“Hunk, I love you, but I'm 99% sure this is the first time I've seriously asked you for help about a guy. Humour me here?”

“Yeah, but what about that one guy…” he began but dropped to a sarcastic tone, “ _Oh! Right!_ It was Shiro. You know, Matt’s _boyfriend_. Even if they did want to add someone to their relationship, I doubt you're their type. And that was just 2 weeks ago, Lance! Do I even need to continue?”

“ _HUNK_. He's hot and buff who wouldn't crush on _that_?!”

Hunk cleared his throat and thought for a minute. “Okay, understood, but still, there was… Oh, that one guy, he was your tutor, or… Fuck buddy? Something like that… It was… Rolo? You know. Nyma’s Rolo? Or was it ‘ _Rolo, your tutor for math_ ’? You wanted to get serious and suddenly he disappeared out of your life. Scared of commitment, I'm sure.”

“We don't speak his name anymore,Hunk. You remember it as good as I do! It _seemed_ fated,” Lance scoffed.

Hunk rolled his eyes and continue sipping his coffee.

“Nyma confessed to cheating on on us both that day - when we happened to run into each other at her house! Like, rude - and we met talked after we left her cheating ass’ house that day-" he stopped himself from ranting for a second and took a deep breath. "You know what, I'm not explaining myself. And that tutor thing was totally roleplay, you know this! _ONE TIME, HUNK._ It was one! TIME! You just happened to visit me at the wrong time!”

Hunk rolled his eyes, again, but in a more teasing manner this time, and Lance childishly stomped his foot. “I hope you know as my best friend I'm never letting you live that down? You were totally into it-” Hunk chuckled.

“I’m gonna stop you right there, Hunky bear. That whole system… Fuck buddies… It was a mistake and you and I know it. I should've known he didn't want to commit to a relationship if that's what he labled us as...” he srarted to mumble away.

“I don't know,” Hunk shrugged. He knew Lance enough to know he was mulling over bad memories again. He sat his coffee down and leaned forward, trying to keep a straight face, “You might not have liked that system of relationship, but it sounded like you were really into that system of equations from before-”

“How dare you,” Lance spouted, acting betrayed. Grounding hin back with jokes, damn he really had a good friend. “One time!” he mumbled, pacing the room, again, “ONE TIME!”

“Look I'm just trying to make a point, Lance. You sorta get into this whole ‘crush’ thing barely knowing a thing the person. You usually just end up hurt in the end… Nyma for example. You were so into her eyes and looks, you didn't even take the time to notice there was another man in her life.”

Lance sighed, grabbed his cup of coffee off his dresser and fell back into the couch next to Hunk, who grabbed his own cup again. “I’m sure you're right, Hunk… I just don't want you to be on this one. I should just marry you and be over with pining all together.”

Hunk chuckled comfortingly and wrapped an arm around Lance’s shoulders to bring him into a side-hug. “Look man, all I'm saying is get to know each other more. I'm not saying you should quit the little… Pining thing you have going on. _Besides_ , I've known you too long to ever marry you with a clear conscious.”

Lance took a sip of coffee and looked into the mug after, “Okay but how do you get to know someone… Y’know… After you… Um…”

“Hm, what’s wrong?” Hunk snorted. “How bad could you have messed up?”

“Okay well… Um… So help me out here, Hunk.”

A deep sigh escaped Hunk as he shook his head raising a judgemental eyebrow, “Do I wanna know?”

“How do you go about apologising after um… You know… Um… Accidentally having drunk sex and throwing a condom at someone…?”

“OH!” he shouted, “This is about Keith! Right- Um, sorry bro. Okay well, um…”

“Wait, I already told you about what happened with me and Keith? I was sure I didn't… But you just called him a mystery man, when did I-?”

Hunk began to sweat a little, and stood up quickly. “Haha, youknowwhatI’vegottago,” he muttered and sped to Lance’s door. “Um, just go talk to him. I don't- Um, haha… I don't know what’s going on, totally- You? Have sex with Keith? I have no part in that- I think I hear Pidge calling. BYE LANCE,” he waved bye and practically jet out of Lance’s room.

Lance’s head cocked to the side in confusion. “Uh… Yeah, so that happened?” he whispered to himself and took a few more sips of his coffee before pulling his phone out. “Siri, how do you make up with a hot guy you accidentally slept with.”

“I'm sorry, Meme Lord Lance, I don't understand the question,” the robotic words spoke back to him leaving Lance sticking his lip out.

“Gee, thanks, Siri,” he retorted.

“You're welcome, Meme Lord Lance.”

He locked his phone and fit it back in his pocket, shaking his head, “That's the last time I try to ask you for help.”

 

**\----------**

 

**_ 11 hours later, that same day: _ **

 

Lance finally got home after a day at work. It was nearly 10 at night and it was dark outside. He turned his motorcycle’s engine off and all illuminating the parking lot was a streetlight and a wall light in front of the sharehouse doorway. He stepped off the seat and reached back into a compartment of his motorcycle and pulled out a bag with a box of chocolates and painkillers in it. He took a deep breath as he locked up the wheel, closed the compartment and made his way inside the sharehouse.

When he finally made his way upstairs he looked around twice making sure the coast was clear and knocked on a door. Keith’s door, to be specific. He wasn't trying to act suspicious, but he was sure he wouldn't be able to live _anything_ down if Pidge caught him.

It took a few seconds before the door was answered and Keith’s cracked his door. One shining eye presented itself through the crack. Beautiful, Lance thought to himself, swallowing nervously.

“Yeah?” Keith called out, his eye squinting caution when he saw it was Lance at his door.

“Ah- Um… I saw your motorcycle parked outside. I parked mine next to yours… Not that it matters! Uh… And I was just wondering if y- ah… You know, if you were home?” Lance stated, more in a questioning tone.

Keith sighed, closing his door for a second. Lance was about to walk away but the sliding of door locks were heard and Keith opened his door further. He stuck his head out and looked both ways making sure no one was outside in the hall. “Inside. _Now_ ,” he demanded as he drug Lance inside his room by his collar and immediately shut the door behind them.

“Woa- haha… Um, hello to you, too?” he coughed out anxiously.

“Shh, stay quiet.” Keith whispered as locked his doors back and dragged Lance further into his room and threw him on his couch.

“Wahhh- ah, okay, so just wondering and all, but what's going on? This is a bit forward!” Lance cried, fixing himself up on the couch.

Keith kneeled down and pulled out a board from underneath his bed. “Look, I've been onto something since yesterday morning,” he started.

Lance gulped, “Wait, what's happening. I mean, um, right, that's why I'm here. I came to apologise.”

“No, as far as I'm concerned, there's no apologies in order.”

“Are you foreal? We literally slept together and I'm sure I may have took advantage of you being drunk, and I can apologise as much as I want but nothing can make up for that. Or maybe you jus really liked it's, but I'm still here to-”

During Lance’s ramblings Keith took advantage of him being distracted and closed the gap between them and interrupted Lance with a finger over his mouth.

“What if I told you it never happened?” Keith cut in.

“If what never happened?”

“What if we never really slept together?”

“Excuse me? I’m sure you didn't wanna wake up with me of all people but trying to say it never happened is going a bit-”

Keith pulled the board he had in his hand in front of Lance. On it were notes, sticky notes, and yarn connecting notes on every member and event of the sharehouse as of the past 2 days and bullet points of quotes, even a timeline of the night they both passed out.

“WOAH,” Lance gasped.

“Yeah,” Keith simply replied.

“So you're _seriously_ telling me we never…”

“Pretty much,” he shrugged.

Lance stared at the board wide-eyed, analysing all the notes on it. “A group meeting in the morning while we were both out of the hall… Shiro’s been nervous around you… Hey, Hunk was acting suspicious this morning when I brought us up… Like I already told him, but I'm 80% sure I didn't let that slip.”

“That and when we were out today at the grocery store, Shiro got…” Keith blushed for a moment when pausing then continued, “U-um… Lube. I started getting suspicious. I haven't added the notes on that, yet.”

Lance blinked for a second, “Question: that lube we used wasn't yours? And the condom? Those weren't mine.” He scratched his neck and broke eye contact with the board and mumbled, “At least I don't think I used that… Size.”

“Were you sore the next morning when we woke up?”

“No, I just assumed you were. I got you stuff in case you were. And, y’know I was the big spoon, so I just thought… Yeah. I mean I know it doesn't have to be sore if you do it right, but still.”

“What, are you a virgin? Do you not understand how this works considering all that was in the condom?” he plainly asked as if he was judas was cereal he had this morning.

“I don't know what that has to do with any of th-”

“Mhm. How do you not even know what size you are.”

Lance took a deep breath and itched his cheek, “No! I’m not, geez. I guess it did seem like a bit much… But people can be pent up, right? And I just, with a guy, usually… You know. I mean I've only really done it with one guy but- Ah, I should shut up, now… ” he blushed.

“Never what?” Keith chuckled. Lance knew he knew damn well what he was trying to say. It was just embarrassing at this point.

“Well, you know… I… Caught? Not like I haven't ever… I mean it's great with girls, I just, with guys. You know how it is,” he coughed out, nervously. “I mean, I don't just have condoms and line lying around drew. I'm focusing on my studies right now.”

“Admirable, but onto the next piece of evidence _._ ” he backed up and put a hand to his chin and began whispering to himself, “my room was locked since the night before we went out, so there was no way that stuff drunk, I can focus enough to open my keyhole.” He paused and brought his attention back to Lance, “So I also found it suspicious Matt and Shiro needed more lube considering they bought some last week and it was the same br-”

“Keith I don't need to know Shiro’s private affairs,” he deadpanned.

“Look,I’m adding up the facts. So long story short the story of us having sex…Ot isn't adding up. I'm just not sure how we both got in your room or on your bed. I'm pretty sure the others are in on it.”

“Holy crow, are we conspiring about _not_ having sex together right now?”

“Yes, Lance. Yes we are. Try and keep up.”

“Is it out of place to just come out and say how I'm intellectually turned on by you right now? Like, man, the thought you've put into all of it, just… _Wow_.” Lance quickly spat out, blushing.

Keith stepped back bringing the board up to cover his face, “What does that even- When is it ever okay to say that?! ”

“Right now?”

“No. Look, in order to keep up a facade we need to act like this never happened. I leave the kitchen around 9 A.M. and I need you to be there when I'm about to leave. Try and make it awkward. It'll allow me to study everyone further until I can prove this without a reason of a doubt,” Keith explained, and Lance only nodded in confirmation. Keith looked down to the bag Lance had and tilted his head. “Anyways, are those chocolates in that bag?”

Lance regained his composure, sitting up, as he nodded again, “Yeah, I got them for you as an apology but since I don't have to, I mean… Well, they're still yours if you want them.”

“Tell you what,” he smile. _HE SMILED_. “Meet me in my room every day this week after you get off work, or school, or whatever you do, and bring some snacks. I'll fill you in on what I've figured out that day.”

“Are you asking me out on conspiracy dates?” Lance half joked, blushing again with a slight giggle.

Keith had began putting the board back under his bed, on top of many other work of art conspiracy boards, when he raised his head quickly but ended up slamming it on his bed frame. “Fuck- a dat-” Keith sputtered and rubber his head while he stood up, a flustered mess, “…. What? I mean, if you were _serious_? Then yeah, but, ah. Totally, if you were joking I mean- yeah, so was I,” he stuttered more as he rubbed the back of his head more with his ears also blushing on fire.

Lance was caught off guard and sat up to look at the ground. “Y-yeah I mean I'm only being serious if you meant it when you said you agreed. If not, I can just leave and this literally never happened. At all.”

“I mean… I'm fine with it. If you are.”

“S-sure, man. Uh, dude. Bro. _Dudebro_.”  
  
Keith’s blushed died down and he glared at Lance. “If you're trying to agree with me to a date, Lance, don't call me that,” he deadpan.

“Right, so… See you tomorrow… Uh… Babe?”

“Too soon for that.”

“Right, then, um… Later, Keith,” he waved bye as he inched his way to the door.

“Oh, and thanks, Lance,” Keith called out.

“For?”

“Ah, yesterday. Morning. It was… Nice? The, um, cuddling and... Stuff.”

“Y-yeah, no problem. See ya.”

“See ya, Lance.”

Lance was about to run his way out but stopped at the door and looked back, “Oh, and one more thing. This has nothing to do with that night, but...”

“Yeah?”

“Keep your emo shit down. I swear to god, I need rest and your loud ass music isn't helping.”

Keith rolled his eyes and shook his head. “Yeah, right,” he scoffed.

And with that, Lance sped out of Keith’s room to his door and pulled his keys out. He missed the lock a couple of times, but he finally unlocked it and ran into his own room.

 

**\-------------**

 

**_ The Day of the ER ‘Visit’: _ **

 

It was a nice day. Lance was relaxing in a coffee shop, enjoying the sunny weather. It was his first day off of school and work for weeks. He managed to get an outdoor seat, and this breeze was nice with a cool coffee. He literally had not a care in the world at this moment. It didn't get any better than this.

_Except that it did!_

Keith was going to meet him here, soon. _‘It's safer meeting outside of the sharehouse than it is in either of our rooms’._ He was pretty sure Keith just wanted an excuse to ask him out on an actual date, but didn't know how to. Of course, that’d be a bit big headed of him if he was wrong and Keith was just doing this out of safety of their under-cover conspiracy. Keith was a pretty blunt guy from what he could tell.

Of course, he didn't want to get ahead of himself with this whole dating thing, though. To be honest, all he really heard when he agreed this _assumed_ date, all he heard was _“So we’ll meet at the coffee shop, in the afternoon on your next day off, then?”_ He should've paid attention to everything before that, he was sure, but he had a long day studying for exams and he was out of it.

So it's not that he's not a good listener! He was just tired beyond belief and but still wanted to fit Keith into his day before passing out on his room. ‘Getting to know him.’ just like Hunk asked.

Not that Hunk knows. Lance has been dying to tell someone about this and how happy he was, but this was a secret, so why break the trust they shared now? He's too deep in to betray Keith. He loved Hunk to death but goodness knows he can't keep secrets. He's too sweet to keep anything from someone. Probably why Hunk has inadvertently try to escape from talking to Lance for too long.

“Hey, punk, that's my seat,” came a stern voice from behind him. Lance jumped and squealed, dropping some coffee on his lap, which, was hot. As. HELL!

“GAHFUCKINSHITFUCK-” he yelped, hurrying to put his coffee down and drop a napkin.

“Damn, Lance… _Sorry_ ,” the voice apologised, if you could even call it that. The voice didn't sound remorseful at all.

“Keith, what the hell, man? That's not how you greet people you're trying to date!” Lance dropped the ‘d’ word to see Keith’s reaction. Maybe he really was wrong. Was this actually a date?

“Oh, so _that’s_ what you call this,” he cackled.

“You heathen,” he pouted, slightly saddened now. Okay, so probably not a date. That could've been sarcasm, though, so he can't end his search after one response.

“Hey, cheer up. I'm not going to talk your ear off about conspiracies today. Given, you always ask about them, but you always seem jealous near the end,” Keith yammered as he made his way to a seat across from Lance with a coffee in his hand.

“That's because all you ever talk about is ‘Mothman!’ ‘Oh, my god! Mothman,’ ‘I’m so going to fuck him one day,’” Lance waved his hands around while attempting to mock Keith.

“Never have I said I wanted to fuck him,” Keith muttered.

“You act like it,” he retorted.

“Anyways,” Keith cleared his throat.

Time passed as Lance indirectly led Keith into lecturing him all about Mothman and how, no he didn't want to fuck him, he just really, really may or may not dump or divorce whoever he was ever dating or married if it meant he could totally meet him. ‘I’m not going totally your ear off about conspiracies’ his ass.

Eventually, it began to get cold and the sun began to set, and the guys made their way out of the coffee shop and to their bikes.

“God, enough about Mothman,” Lance chided.

“You're literally just jealous of him. You would understand if you were so blinded by jealousy,” Keith argued.

“I’m jealous because for once you invited me out and yet somehow you're talking about another man you would totally leave my life for!” Shit, so… That slipped out.

“Oh, so you admit it! You totally are!”

“Who spends a whole date talking about another man!”

“We do?”

“Ha!” Lance yelled and stopped, clapping his hands together.

Keith jumped and looked back to Lance, who was not making finger guns and wiggling his eyebrows at him. “What is wrong with you, this time?”

“You called it a date!”

“I did!”

“Yep, see! You did, and you agreed to partaking in said date!”

“Is that not what this was?”

“I've been spending this whole chill session debating whether or not it was! But ha! You just admitted it. This was an excuse for a date! Haha!”

“Lance- What are you going on about. _‘Excuse’_? Of course this is a date. I literally told you _‘If you want to, on your next day off, we can go out for a date’_.”

“Ha, you admi- Woah, wait. When was that. I totally don't remember that.”

“2 days ago, Lance!”

“Fuck, so that's how we planned this out. My bad.”

“‘My bad’? Lance, are you serious? You agreed to everything when I was asking you if you wanted to come here.”

Lance swallowed and broke eye contact. Well, shit. “So, um…” he choked, nervous and embarrassed, “I mean, two nights ago, I may or may not have been in or out while you were talking.”

“Jesus, Lance! No. You know what.This is what I get for trying. This whole date was literally a one-sided effort in planning. I bet you don't even care this was a date at all,” Keith blanched and turned around to stomp off to his bike.

“Hey- Wait, Keith, I liked it! I would've totally been on board with it whether I was sleeping or not-”

“-Which you were!-”

“-and honestly I'd be thankful if you gave me a second one.”

Keith stopped in his tracks and looked back, confused, and already in front of his bike. “A second what?”

“Date?”

“Excuse me? You give a half-assed effort into pretending you knew this was a date, if you can even call it ‘half-assed’ because you had to ask if it was one, and suddenly you think you have the right to ask for another?!”

“Yes?” he squeaked, more of a question than an answer to Keith.

“Bye, Lance,” he puffed and pulled out his keys to his bike, leaning on the seat.

“Wait!” Lance let out and grabbed Keith’s arm.

“Lance, whatever-” Keith began to yell, but was cut off by Lance turning him around and slamming their faces together. Honestly, he would call it a kiss, but only if his nose hadn't just suffered blunt force trauma to Lance’s hard head.

Lance tilted his hand to make room in their kiss, but Keith quickly pushed his face away.

“Shit, sorry, I shouldn't have-” Lance began.

“Lance-” he was cut off again, but this time by Lance's rambling.

“That was probably not the right solution. I didn’t know what to do, but I honestly don't want to lose these little meet ups we have together. The conspiracy dates are nice and I honestly enjoy my time with you. Please, if you would allow me one more chance to fix this- I’m sorry I'm rambling.”

Keith stared at him silently as Lance brought his gaze down to the ground, contemplating.

“I’m sorry for the way I acted, today and 2 days ago. I was overly exhausted from studying and I’m sorry for not telling you I was or not making an effort to stay up,” he finished with a deep exhaled and looked back up to Keith, waiting for a response.

“Communication is key,” Keith whispered.

“Hm?”

“If we’re going to try and make this work... Communication is key... And I guess it was partly my fault for not noticing you were tired. I'm sorry, too.”

“Hehe, did _the_ Keith Kogane just apologize?”

“Nope, nuh-huh. Doesn't sound like me. Too OOC,” he chuckled but began to blush. “So, what was that just now?”

“The apology? Did it not seem sincere enough? I can try again. I'm not the best at-”

“No, before that…”

“Oh, that was… Um, my attempt of kissing, thinking on my feet. Was it really that bad?”

“I mean, it was… _Fine?_  But still,” he sighed, and touched his nose, now feeling tender. Lance opened his mouth to probably apologize but Keith tilted Lance’s head, positioning his face while cupping his jaw, “whatever that just was, let's work on that. I wouldn't ever… I don't even know what that was.”

“It was a… Pretty rash kiss. Not going to lie here, I’m not even sure I kissed your lips right then.”

“Right, so just… Don't do anything,” Keith winced, pain growing in his nose.

“Hm? Whaddya-”

This time Lance was cut off with Keith’s lips _grace_ fully, not _pain_ fully meeting his lips. It only took a few seconds for them to roughen it up, though. They both fought for dominance which led to this… _ER debacle_.

Lance pushed back on Keith’s lips, and although he had already done it a few times in this little session, he pushed a bit too had this time. Keith pushed back, his nose having collided with Lance’s on accident.

“Crap- Lance, wait-” he groaned, stepping back, but foot slipping, and him falling backwards. Lance, God bless him, didn't even know what happened in this few seconds. It all happened so fast, but almost in slow motion.

In Keith’s mind, this was all an attempt to catch himself. He was supposed to place his left hand behind himself to catch the seat of his motorcycle, and he just missed. A little. Okay, like, _a lot_.

He put too much effort into leaning back to catch himself, he miscalculated. He calculated the risks, but boy was he bad at math. Is arm fell with nonsupport behind himself, and so did he. Suddenly his head made contact with the side of his bike and his wrist misangled for a catch to the ground, hand-first. He thought he was closer, honestly he did, but he didn't take in Lance being pushed back by his advances in their make out session.

“HAAA- Ohhhhh my god!” he cried.

“Geez, fuck, Keith, are you okay?!” Lance fret.

“Do I look oh-fucking-kay to you, Lance?!” he screamed, catching his breath. Deep breaths, deep breaths. “Oh, fuck. God, just… Quick, pull my keys out and get my helmet. AHHHHH, FUCK,” he managed to get out before yelling in pain.

“Ah, shit, okay, right, yeah, I got you. Don't even worry. Ooooohh shit. Ohmygodthisjusthappened,” Lance continued to freak out and did as he was told.

“I guess this is pretty much under one of the worst dates you’ve had,” Keith grumbled.

Lanced chuckled trying to make light of the situation, “I was oblivious, you probably hurt your nose-”

“-You hurt my nose-”

“-and you…” He paused to assess the situation, “broke your arm? Wrist? Twist it? Truly, not the _worst_ , but it will be if we don't do something.”

Keith slowly made his way up and help his left wrist. He was so fucked. How was he supposed to explain this to Shiro. Maybe he was lucky and Shiro was off the clock. All he knew is be had to make his way to the ER. The city’s doctor was closed by now, the ER being his own current refuge, whether or not his brother was working or not.

“Whatdowedonow,” Lance spat out, quickly, stressing out. “Oh, my crow, I'm sorry this is my fault. What are we gonna do…”

“Lance, calm d-”

“I can't!”

“LANCE!” Keith yelled, grabbing Lance with his right hand. “Look at- Lance, calm down. I need you to calm down. You're going to have to drive.”

“Where?!” _Keith was the one with a broken wrist, how is he calmer at a moment like this than he was?_

“The emergency room. Now deep breaths. Do you think you can get us there?”

Lance began deeply and slowly inhaling and exhaling. “Right, we need to- I need to be calm… Okay,” Lance managed to get out, his voice cracking at the end.

Needless to say, they made their way to Lance’s motorcycle (getting lost for a minute or two, because it totally wasn't Lance’s fault for not knowing where he parked in a part of town he never went to, right?), taking off to the ER as fast as the speed limits would let them. Once in, Keith asked Lance to stay out since he’d only be a little bit and informed him Shiro might be working. After agreeing, Lance ended up waiting about 30 minutes before receiving a text from Keith:

_K: Omw out, now. Had a run in with my brother’s co-worker. She's a bit nosey. Caring but maybe too much._

_L: Wepp, u no me_

_K: ?_

_L: Jusr, u kmow_  
L: Freezinh my ass n hamds off outside  
L: ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 _K: Oh calm down. Almost out._  
K: If you can make that face at me via text then you’re fine.  
K: Pick me up at the front door? It is pretty cold…

_L: Wrll damn, Keitg, I can't comtrol the weather_

_K: You’re typoing on purpose aren't you?_

_L: proving a point on hOW COLD it is outsife_  
L: but u no how it is  
L: ur date takes on the ground in thr most epiv figjt of the might  
L: and loses, may I ass  
L: *add, that actually wasn't intentional  
L: and ends up in an ER u cnt even entr

_K: Please?_

Just as he sent the text, Lance pulled up with a grin on his face. Keith glared at him, gripping the sling around his shoulder and a bandage around his nose.

“‘Please?’? What do I get?”

“A fist up your ass, you smart ass.”

“Kinky. I like it,” he snickered, Keith following suit in chuckling as he made his way to the back of the bike to pick his helmet up with one hand.

“Well, I certainly don't!”

Both guys jumped away from each other, as the knowing voice called out to them. That was Shiro. Oh shit. Not this.

“Ahhhh, we made it so far already, really?” Lance groaned quietly and looked forward, not looking behind him to that stone cold, disappointed parent face.

“Go, fucking go. I don't need a helmet, just go,” Keith fret, jumping on behind Lance, pushing him to go.

“Lance, if you push that gas, I will evict you from the house,” now a voice which can only be Allura’s sweet voice.

“That's not really fair,” Lance, sighed, pulling his keys out of the bike.

“Fuckkk,” Keith complained and hid his head on Lance’s back. He had patience, just not enough for this, right now. Of course they would get caught going behind their backs. Just their luck.

“How did you get here before we did, bro?” Hunk asked him. “I just texted you we were coming here like 4 minutes ago.”

Lance’s back straightened up, and Keith sat up, too. Lance looked back to Keith, sharing confused looks. Lance slipped a hand into his poker to check his texts. And what do you know, Hunk had text him.

Hunk to the rescue, he sighed in relief to himself. Lance cleared his throat, “I was down the road at that one coffee shop we always talk about going to.”

“Did you speed?” Pidge asked, “That's at least 7 minutes down the road.”

“Well, I didn't know who was in the ER. Your text didn't specify, my Hunk of burning love and dear birb.”

Hunk shrugged to Pidge, because hey, it wasn't a lie. All the text was, was:

_H: We’re headed to the ER, hurry up, man. We don't know what happened._

“W- well then why is Keith on the back of your bike!” Pidge called out, accusingly.

“I wanted to hurry up and leave! Lance just so so happened to be on his way to the parking lot when I stopped him. Almost getting ran over, but the ER is right there.” Keith spat out. Damn they were a good team at lying. “Like hell I was getting caught by Shiro. He’d give me an earful. I wasn't sure if he was working.”

“And I still will!” Shiro confirmed. “Do you hate my safety talks so much you’re willing to drive off with Lance?”

Lance scoffed, betrayed. Keith followed up with a, “I didn't know you guys were even coming.”

“Shay didn't tell you?” asked Matt.

“Keith, this is Lance we’re talking about,” Pidge muttered.

Silence filled the area as a couple of people passed by then Shiro finally made an order of, “We’ll talk about what happened to you, later. Keith, you're riding with us back home, meet you there, Lance.”

“God speed!” Lance chuckled as Keith got off the bike and put the keys back in. “That’s going to be one hostile ride back home. Lucky me.”

“You’ll pay.”

“What did I do?” Lance cried, quietly.

“If you checked your phone instead of writing a pity story of freezing your ass off-”

“Keith are you coming?” Matt called out as they made their way to the car.

“Let's go, my boy! The car is running!” Coran yelled at them from Allura’s car window.

“On my way,” Keith groaned and made his way to the car.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WELL THAT HAPPENED!
> 
> I'll try and get up the next chapter as soon as I can, maybe a month tops, this time. Not quite sure. I'm not exactly done with the next one like I was this time.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm a slut for comments. Just saying.
> 
> You can find me on Tumblr: Acequisitor


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